Jump Stars Special: Dealing With Perverted Fathers
by Ability King KK
Summary: Dealing with one pervert is bad enough. Dealing with two and when they're drunk, no less, that's all kinds of trouble. Especially when they ramble on. NOT Minato x Nanao.


**Got this idea for a **_**Naruto/Bleach**_** one-shot in my head and had to write it out. Enjoy!**

**-:-**

It was a nice sunny day in the Soul Society and everyone was enjoying it…except for one person.

"Grr, I can't believe it! I turn my back for one second and he disappears, leaving me with all of the paperwork. How did Lisa-sempai put up with him!" complained a glasses wearing woman as she marched down the street. She wore a standard Soul Reaper uniform, but had a Fukutaicho badge strapped to her arm.

The woman was Nanao Ise, Fukutaicho of the Eighth Division. Right now, she was on a mission to find her taicho who had snuck out of the Eighth Division Barracks instead of doing his paperwork. As she was in the middle of her thoughts of hurting her lazy taicho, she wasn't paying attention and bumped into someone when she reached an intersection. Luckily, that someone was able to catch her before she fell to the ground.

"Are you okay, Nanao-san?" asked the person.

Nanao opened her eyes and saw a tall man with bright blue eyes and spiky blond hair. The man wore a white cloak with red flames at the bottom.

"M-Minato-san? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in Lord Enma's realm, acting as one of his Guardians*?" asked Nanao, looking up at the man.

"Hai, but I sensed Jiraiya-sensei's chakra signature here in the Soul Society, so Lord Enma gave me some time off so I could investigate. Sensei isn't dead, is he Nanao?" asked the former Hokage, worry clearly in his eyes. Nanao looked at him in confusion.

"…Not that I know of. There haven't been any reports of his passing. If he is here, I will keep an eye out for him, but right now, I need to find Kyoraku Taicho. Good day, Minato-san."

Nanao then continued on her way. She then sensed that she was being followed and turning her head, saw that Minato was the one following her.

"Why are you following me, Minato-san?" questioned Nanao, narrowing her eyes. She knew Minato wasn't a pervert like most men who'd follow women, but rather be safe than sorry as the saying goes.

"Gomen, Nanao, but Sensei's chakra signature is this way. There also seems to be a signature that's a mix of lightning and water chakra near Sensei too," said Minato.

"Lightning and water? That sounds like it could be Ukitake Taicho. Wait, if Ukitake Taicho is with Jiraiya-san, then that means…"

Nanao's eyes narrowed into dangerous slits as she figured out where her taicho was. Minato also seemed to have figured it out. He facepalmed at the thought of Kyoraku and Jiraiya being in the same room.

"This can't be good," sighed Minato. "Hold on, Nanao. We'll get there before they start trouble."

Before Nanao could say anything, Minato lifted her into his arms, holding her bridal style, and performed the technique that gave him the title of Yellow Flash.

Their destination ended up to be a local bar where Soul Reapers could go to wind down from a hard day. Minato put down Nanao, whose cheeks were slightly pink.

"You did not have to do that. I could have easily gotten here on my own," muttered Nanao as she composed herself.

"True, but we needed to get here fast and who's faster than me?" grinned Minato. "By the way, don't mention this to Kushina. She might get the wrong idea."

Nanao nodded in agreement while giving a slight shudder. She remembered meeting Kushina and she was a scary woman when she angry.

Upon entering the establishment, they found their targets. Unfortunately, Jiraiya and Shunsui were both drunk. Fortunately, Jushiro was there and sober. He could help get the two perverts out of there. As Minato and Nanao made their way over to the two perverts, the Gama Sennin noticed them.

"Oi, Minato! Get over here and have a drink with us!" yelled a slurring Jiraiya. Minato ignored him and turned to Jushiro.

"Ukitake-san, how is Jiraiya-sensei here?" asked Minato.

"Don't worry, Minato. Jiraiya is still alive. Shunsui thought it was a good idea though to bring him here so they could exchange ideas for their books, but as you can see…" trailed off the older Shiro of Soul Society. "I am only here to make sure they do nothing they might regret."

"Grr, Kyoraku Taicho! You know you have paperwork that needs to be done and instead you go off and get drunk!" yelled Nanao, glaring at the man in pink.

"Now, now, my little Nanao-chan. No need to get all angry. Besides, its not like you'd want me around interrupting anything," slurred Shunsui.

"What are you talking about?" sighed Nanao, feeling a migraine coming on.

"You're here with Minato! It's obvious that you two are trying to get busy!" exclaimed the drunk Jiraiya with a lecherous grin. Minato and Nanao could only look at him with wide-eyed surprise.

"Nani?" they exclaimed at the same time.

"Ah just go for it, Minato! Besides, don't you want to give Tsunade-hime and I a grandkid?"

"You already have one! His name is Naruto!" yelled Minato, glaring at his father-like figure. "And you know I'm married to Kushina!"

"How 'bout you, Nanao-chan? Lisa-chan and I were wondering when you'd settle down," slurred the Eighth Taicho.

"T-Taicho!" squeaked the woman, embarrassed at having this kind of conversation with her father-like figure*.

"Come on, you two! Yeah, Naruto's a great kid and all, but he refuses to learn the ways of the pervert! What thirteen-year-old would refuse that! If you two had a kid, with two Super Perverts like me and Shunsui teaching him, he'd reach the legendary Ultra Pervert status!" rambled Jiraiya, he and Shunsui both giggling perversely.

"I'd pass my teachings down to Hitsugaya Taicho, but Jushiro won't let me," muttered Shunsui.

"I will not let you corrupt Shiro-chan, Shunsui," said Jushiro, giving a deadpan look to his friend/brother.

Minato and Nanao could not believe what they were hearing. Not wanting to listen to ramblings of the drunken perverts anymore, Minato started up his signature Rasengan, while Nanao brought out her signature heavy book. Still glaring at their "fathers", the pain was about to commence.

About ten minutes later, which were filled with the sounds of things breaking, Minato walked out of the bar, dragging a knocked out Jiraiya behind him. Nanao was doing the same with a knocked out Shunsui.

"I can't believe the words that came out of their mouths," muttered Nanao, still embarrassed.

"Nanao, you they probably didn't mean anything by it," smiled Jushiro, who walked out of the bar after them.

"Ukitake-san has a point, Nanao. They were probably just the ramblings of two old men. Anyway, I'll be back in a little bit. Just have to drop this baka off in Konoha," said Minato as he gave a swift kick to Jiraiya's ribs.

"You'll be back?" questioned Nanao.

"Ah, I just remembered that I promised to help Soi Fon train her squad next time I had time off. She wants them to be more ninja-like, especially her Fukutaicho," said Minato, rubbing the back of his head.

"I see. Just as long as you don't come back with him," said Nanao, pointing at the Gama Sennin.

"Don't worry, Ero-sennin won't be coming back here for a long while," grinned Minato. Nanao could only give a small smirk at the nickname Minato called his sensei.

"Then I won't keep holding you up. See you soon, Minato-san."

"Minato. We're friends, Nanao. You can drop the –san."

"Very well, Minato."

With that, the two went on their ways. Minato to the Senkaimon and Nanao to the Eighth Division. Jushiro stood on the sidelines watching all the while.

"Hehe, so much a like those two. Then again, they were raised by almost the same person with how Shunsui and Jiraiya act," chuckled Jushiro. He then quickly made his way back to the Thirteenth Division before his two Third Seats found out he was gone.

-:-

Back in Konoha, Senju Tsunade, the Godaime Hokage, was busy with dreaded paperwork and sneaking saké since Shizune wasn't around. Suddenly, a door of light opened in the middle of the room and out comes an unconscious Jiraiya. Confused and startled at first, Tsunade stood up and walked towards the man to find a note attached to him. Picking it up, it read:

_Dear Tsunade-kaasan,_

_Jiraiya-otousan was causing trouble in Soul Society with Kyoraku-san. Luckily, Nanao and I took care of it before it could get more out of hand than it did. Also, luckily, Kushina wasn't around to hear the conversation that the two perverts were having. Figured you'd want to deal out Ero-sennin's punishment. Hope to see you again soon._

_-Minato_

A vein started to twitch on Tsunade's forehead as she glared at Jiraiya.

"What did you do now?" growled Tsunade, cracking her knuckles.

-:-

With Shunsui, he was busily working on his paperwork…for once. Nanao was sitting nearby, reading her book.

"Nanao-chan! Can't I take a break! This hangover is killing me!" whined Shunsui.

"No breaks. Not until you finish every once of your paperwork…Ero-taicho," smirked Nanao as she turned the page.

"Nanao-chan!"

**FIN**

**-:-**

**Could you just imagine the chaos Jiraiya and Shunsui could cause if they ever met? The hilarity that could give.**

**I hope no one gets the impression that this was supposed to be a Minato x Nanao one-shot, because it wasn't. I hate crossover pairings in fics, as they make no sense. The parts where Jiraiya and Shunsui ramblings of them together was for comedy only.**

***Lord Enma (from **_**Dragon Ball**_**) having Guardians is something I came up with for my Jump Stars series. Basically, they're strong and powerful warriors who have passed on and work for Lord Enma to keep peace in the afterlife. They include the likes of Namikaze Minato (**_**Naruto**_**), Bardock (**_**Dragon Ball**_**), Portgas D. Ace (**_**One Piece**_**), and the Zenon Warriors (**_**Beet the Vandel Buster**_**). There are others, but those were just examples.**

***Shunsui being Nanao's father-like figure makes a lot more sense than him being her love interest. Why would Shunsui, who has known Nanao since she was Yachiru's age, get with her? That's all kinds of creepy. Besides, if he did see Nanao like that, Lisa would definitely kill him.**

**Going on with that note, seeing as how Nanao can't be with Shunsui for obvious reasons, who do you think would be the best choice for her? And no saying Stark since he's basically an Espada version of Shunsui.**


End file.
